Three values I hold dear in this season of my life, family, community and honesty. I might write a lot with references from my daughter or my time with my husband, because they are the center. Then you will see me mentioning young women and girls especially those who live in the slums of Dandora where I grew up since this is important to me. Growing more women leaders in this community and seeing more of us prospering is such a delight for me. Then I will be honest, if I can’t for whatever reason, I will be silent.

You probably know I wrote a whole memoir, 132 pages of it with me walking naked in those pages shamelessly. Because shame is a privilege for few of us, most of us have been shamed for just breathing, living and being human that it matters not anymore.

When you get to hear or read my book – Hope Made A Way, you will see me being molested as an eight year old child by the very people who were meant to protect me from the big bad world. You will drown with me in those murky waters until we catch a breath again. You will probably relate because, one in every three women have experienced sexual and gender based violence. You will see I was ashamed, angry and silent, for being a victim of my power taken away and blame myself for many years. As you probably have and sadly as many girls are still experiencing and will experience if we cower in shame.

Then I will walk you through the streets of Dandora where I fell in love with a young man who wanted to be a priest as I was planning to be a nun. I do not go into detail of how and why I thought the sun rose and set in his eyes, probably the Celine Dion songs had something to do with it. I promise to go into details, just a bit. I swear the sun did do the whole magic thing in his eyes until I got pregnant as a teen, fresh from high school. Then it was dark real quick with physical and financial violence taking the spotlight, poverty and HIV following and the loss of my little boy before he even blew out his first candle.

We won’t stay down too long, I will pick myself up and get to the streets, conferences, meeting rooms, media and anywhere I can amplify my voice to remind people that these three things, four really but many all at the same time are still affecting girls and young women. It is everywhere but I know Dandora better and here, it is still taking a toll on people I love. Things will not happen as soon as I would like because, biases, funding, blah blah blah….

Positive Young Women Voices (PYWV), a community based organisation I founded will get me into more rooms around the world but it will still be a drop in the ocean. It will be encouraging to see me rise from these ashes and you will want to say I am strong and all that. Thank you, really, thank you. However, the numbers are worrying. Teen pregnancies are at an all time high, violence, femicides is just appalling and HIV, they say 98 young people under the age of 24 years get HIV daily.

See why community is important to me, especially those who are me and I am them? See why I had to write a memoir to remind us all of the power and resilience we have when all we can do is hope and let that fuel us? Air my mistakes for all to judge and hopefully learn from them so we can break the cycle. See why we must all do something; raise money for such organisations as PYWV; volunteer our time and expertise; speak of our names in rooms we may never step into; create policies with us that make such things better; get and give justice; end inequalities; buy my book for others like me, with a story like mine, so they have a picture of what believing in a future that is good and kind looks like.

See, we all have a part to play and if I can convince you about anything in this small oasis of mine, it will be this. Let’s end inequalities, let’s end the triple threat; teen pregnancies, new HIV infections and violence against women and girls. I am shameless, for a cause. Shameless is also a nice series you could watch with me, the American version. Someone got tired too and did a whole script that makes my story look like child’s play.